When you ask a question, it is always answered. When you declare the desire for a change, life suddenly - as if by magic - starts to shake, and your world starts to shift.
Having a complete and total connection to your higher self is a blessing, for I am now able to see the truth behind every experience I have ever gone through. It has pushed me to the point of releasing the victim mentality I always held. I found myself completely conscious and aware of my inner dialogue, something that had been seemingly muted and densified my entire life.
You see, there is no issue with being the victim or the bully. It is the way you operate, constantly. Bullies are consumed by low vibrational energies, such as fear, defense at an incredibly high magnitude, and anger. They are used to having to attack to defend themselves, especially when they feel threatened (which happens to be all the fucking time, since this is their way of living.) Just the same as the category I fell into, the "Victim." I used every negative experience as if it were solidifying my excuses of being sad, shameful, alone, and unworthy of many things. Those are also extremely low vibrational energies as well.
This is why I was in a constant cycle of self sabotage, as well as allowing others negative opinions of me to cut deep and have a lasting effect. When you are in the cycle of drama and feeling sad/sorry for yourself, it is nearly impossible to escape, due to the fact that your brain has now wired itself to fully function under these states of stress. It is all you know, and since most humans are either living in the past (more common) or the unknown future, it leaves the present moment at a lack for new creation. You constantly repeat your old story or cycle of living, without even realizing. It is so you are able to function with "ease," and unconsciously.
Your thoughts become things. When you are constantly thinking of an unfortunate time, for example, your brain then goes through your archives of similar events, and triggers those memory points. This is due to the fact that like attracts like, and your subconscious believes that you enjoy living in this frame of mind, since you are continuously placing yourself in that stream of thought energy.
For the past few weeks, I have constantly been asking myself how I pulled myself out of my lifelong depression, for the sole purpose of my burning desire to help those who I know are experiencing just what I had been. To put it simply, I asked for help. I literally looked to the stars, asked for help, and because every question you ask is given an answer, in some way shape or form, I received the guidance I desired. Luckily for me, my mother is the Queen of Rapid Transformation, so my answer was right around the hall, but even then, your own journey cannot be answered by other individual people. These past two years have been a rollercoaster, and it's not even near done, but at least now I am able to be in control of what effects me!
As Abraham says, "Words don't teach, but experiences sure do." You have to go through the motions and continue to choose a new form of reality until the density vibrates itself out. In the book Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza, he explains this process through a neuroscientific standpoint. He explains that when you are going through transformation periods, your brain is then signaled to form new neural networks, which allow for new conditions to be born and take place of the old. This leads to your old, previously intense wiring, to stop being activated, and eventually prune away.
I made the decision to be who I always knew I was inside; A wonderful light being, filled with love and acceptance of all things. Gotta say, I made it out alive. I came to the realization that I was clearly constantly in the state of pain and sadness anyway, so I might as well bite the bullet and shift my consciousness to the max. I will mention, when you are shifting your vibration and activating new parts of you that you have never consciously decided to maintain, the old will appear in your life as a "test."
Since you thrive best in the conditions that you are constantly exposed to, the shift brings out all of your old fears and programming that has kept you hostage from this brilliant life. But, once you get it out and move past it, you're golden. I rarely have triggers anymore, and when I do, I am fully aware that somewhere within me I am not in alignment, and it immediately urges me to shift back to where I was.
I was once a girl who loved gossip, reality TV, and filling my consciousness with mundane everyday activities. I especially loved toxic people, and toxic relationships (friendships, jobs, you name it) were my specialty. This lead to many cases of assault, mistreatment, aggressive behavior, and pain and trauma. When my biological father passed away almost 2 years ago, (BY THE WAY, I HAD A VISION OF HIM DYING AND EXACTLY HOW HE DIED EXACTLY 24 HOURS BEFORE HE DID...) I knew that I was done being sad. I was done experiencing such horror, trauma, and tragedy. I have reached the point in life where I know what is for my highest and best, and what is a mirror of the old, negative life that is appearing. No matter what, you will be okay. It may feel like you're dying (I'm not even being dramatic... I had panic attacks DAILY because I thought I was going to die in November of last year.... turns out in a Past Life regression, I died at that time in my past life at age 21... I'm 21 now... weird af, but this life isn't the only life that is influencing you and your everyday experiences...) but that is only because a form of you IS DYING. The old that does not serve your purpose is shifting out. That leads to the feeling of death or loss. It's okay. You'll make it out, even more alive than ever before.
I could go on and on and on, but I am going to stop here. MY BIGGEST ADVICE: MEDITATION. MEDITATION. MEDITATION. Meditation is your Guides and Higher Self's way of showing you the magnificent future ahead, while keeping you in such an increased state of vibration, which in turn trains your brain to this new way of being. MEDITATION HEALS ALL. I AM NOT KIDDING. LOOK IT UP!!!!! The only person that has the answers to your own inner world is YOU. The only beings that can help you move through that for the highest of best are YOUR GUIDES. You got this. I love you so much. If you have any questions, please please please reach out to me. I know how hard life can be, and I now also know how truly beautiful it is when you decide to free yourself from the chains of your old reality.